Neil Clarke

The Award-Winning Editor of Clarkesworld Magazine, Forever Magazine, The Best Science Fiction of the Year, and More

Eamonn Strikes Again….

MEET THE NEW FACE OF TERROR

This is my youngest son. He’s four and readers of this blog know that he’s been a bit of an adventure this year. To recap, earlier this year, he woke us in the middle of the night and had to be rushed to the hospital. This innocent little boy is also the person who bruised my rib a few months ago. And there is so much more.

Well, Eamonn has struck again…

My wife is taking a class this weekend and won’t be back until Sunday. She left me alone with the boys, which is something that usually turns into something half party, half whirlwind housecleaning. Today, during the fun section of our day, Eamonn (as he often does) went upstairs to play while I stayed downstairs with Aidan. Nothing out of the ordinary.

But wait… it’s too quiet. Eamonn isn’t quiet. Not even when he sleeps.

I go upstairs. No Eamonn.

I check the bathrooms. No Eamonn.

I check the front door. Locked.

Now I’m calling him. Louder. Louder. LOUDER.

Not a peep. Eamonn can’t play hide and seek without giggling, so I’m beginning to think he’s hurt somewhere. The back door is locked. The basement locked. I’ve been through all the rooms a few times. Bathtub empty. Under the sink, no. Under the bed, NO. I’m very seriously concerned and his brother has now joined the hunt.

We’re running around for what feels like forever (but more probably 30 seconds) when I cross paths with Aidan again in the living room and hear something.

“Shhhh! Did you hear something?”

“No” (knowing Aidan, this was a silly question. I swear, a bomb could have rocked the house and the answer would still be “no”)

I think it was upstairs and with Aidan hot on my heels, we get up there in time to see Eamonn crawling out from the comforter on my unmade bed, grinning like a cheshire cat and totally naked. (don’t ask)

I am so doomed when he becomes a teenager… if I live to see it.

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13 Comments

  1. Heehee, that’s cute. =D I’m sure the future years will be an interesting mixture of fun and scary.

  2. That boy. I feel my hair graying as we speak…

  3. well, look on the bright side: at least he’s stopped that infernal giggling.

  4. Anonymous

    Hehehe, I pulled that on my mom, musta been 2 or 3. She thought I was napping, and snuggled down with my baby sister. When she woke up, no Penny nowhere. She ended up calling the neighbors, running around the neighborhood, only to find out that I was sleeping under a coffeetable that was stored behind the couch. Why? Who knows. But forty years later she’s still mad at me. Can’t blame her, either! –Penny

  5. Sweet lord. I’m familiar with that terror. A few years ago, when my daughter was three or four, she developed this awful game wherein she’d run away from us in a store and try to avoid us by moving from aisle to aisle. Luckily her cackling gave her away more often than not, but still. Whoever invented hide and seek was an evil bastard.

  6. Wow.

    I am Vivian, a writer in NC, new to this blog, and also mother to two year old Kira. Any wisdom I can glean from your parental posts is most welcome.

    PS little K does stuff kinda like what Eamonn did.

    • Welcome! Ah, the terrible two’s. If your daughter is anything like Eamonn, you’re in for a wild ride. Our oldest was very well behaved and didn’t prepare us at all for this.

  7. And once again you make me glad I chose not to reproduce. Thanks for the validation. 😉

  8. I have one of those…

    I have a child just like that. He’s not a wholly evil boy, but he has a tendency to make us nuts with things like that. At 2 years old we voted him “most likely to require bail”.

    Good luck with that.

    • Re: I have one of those…

      “most likely to require bail”

      Thanks! Now I know I’m not the only person who says that about one of their children. 🙂 We usually add that he’ll problem charm his way out of actually having to go to jail.

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